9 months of being together change a lot

The summer holidays are approaching. Do you remember yours? Time flowed differently back then. For most of us, it was nine weeks of carefree fun, trips and getting up whatever time you wanted. A time for breaking barriers! A time of building unforgettable memories which have accompanied us through the passing years. What if you were given a similar opportunity once again to experience nine weeks in a unique, one-of-a-kind way?


But let’s come down to earth for a moment….

Nine – not weeks this time, but months (40 weeks to be precise) is how long  pregnancy lasts. For nine months, the woman’s body must provide the right conditions for the child’s development, so that it is able to function properly in the outside world in the future. Nine long months during which a woman’s body changes, as well as her psyche. Nine months of anticipation and extreme emotions – joy combined with uncertainty.

A change in attitude

As a gynaecologist, for many years I have been observing the changing awareness of parents-to-be in terms of their responsibility for their developing human organism. I witness the process by which a small being is formed – from a few millimetres long embryo to a newborn baby of several kilograms. This whole process takes place inside the woman’s body. It is the nourishment provided by the mother that makes this miracle possible. This is why so much attention is now paid by parents to diet, supplements which can positively influence the development of the foetus, and the safety of the medicines used. Until recently, no one realised that we already have an impact on future generations at the epigenetic level.

Scientific and social progress is forcing us to change. For example, during the coronavirus pandemic, female patients bravely fought for the fundamental right to have their partners accompany them during labour. It is worth mentioning that 30 years ago, this right was completely outside the canon, and newborns were viewed through the glass windows in the neighbouring ward. Similar changes are taking place on the family front and concern the role of the father in raising a child. Just as we cannot imagine going back to viewing newborns exclusively through a glass pane or using drugs harmful to the foetus, nor will we return to the family model from the last century. Humans, science and society are evolving, so we too must try our best to adapt to the new conditions.

Investment in the future

Can we fathers – without sacrificing much – invest nine weeks of our own time to build the foundations for our child’s development? Time that would be priceless for us and for our child. It certainly won’t be a holiday (just as maternity leave is not like annual leave), but these nine weeks – just like the holidays of our childhood – will leave us with lifelong memories, shape our personality and that of our child’s and perhaps allow us to re-evaluate our priorities.

First times

This period of nine weeks is not just about responsibilities. During this time, you can witness your baby take their first independent steps, call out “Daddy!”, rejoice at the sight of you, begin to show real affection. First times that will never be repeated… And you have the chance to witness them. The human brain is designed in such a way that it can store positive memories – especially of something that happened for the first time – for decades. Wouldn’t it be nice to accumulate positive reinforcements in your memory that you can refer to at different times in your life? Memories that will individually build you and your child and your bond together for years to come. Have the courage to take your chance!



Rafał Zadykowicz

Gynaecologist-obstetrician with international experience. Winner of the “Doctor with Empathy” competition. Chair of the Polish section of the European Network of Trainees in Obstetrics and Gynaecology (ENTOG).


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